How we got to marriage is very important
Falling in love with someone is not enough to be able to live responsibly by sharing life with that person. Before getting married it is necessary to live a time of treatment, knowledge and preparation to evaluate if it will be impossible, possible or very possible to share a life project with that person and lay the solid foundations of a love in which we play the greatest happiness.
- Do a recreational activity together
It is important that the couple be friends, that they enjoy and share a hobby.
Some psychologists say that the crisis of many marriages occurs when only bad memories live in your memory. That is why it is important that there is a friendship between the couple that contributes to stability and the development of a relationship that feeds on affectivity, good memories and future projects.
- Establish a shared budget
The issue of money is usually another source of normal conflicts of conjugal life. As Gottman says, “Whether you enjoy a large bank account or have to tighten your belt, many spouses face significant conflicts.”
The key to overcoming them is to establish a consensus budget and work as a team to do shopping of your wedding and to buy Wedding Band Sets for Men And Women this will solve financial problems through the dialogue about concerns, needs and priorities of the couple. This will make the right decisions.
Therefore, it can be a good idea for the bride and groom to maintain a common budget and manage it for exits or savings projects, for example, to buy a house in the future.
Dreaming together with a house choosing photos and decorating it with imagination and the help of magazines can be a very strong factor of union.
- Overcome a crisis together
“Crisis” means an opportunity for change, for growth. In every relationship there are crises that, if lived properly, will surely come out stronger or with a more consolidated unity.
In the courtship, crises allow knowing each other and detecting the strengths and weaknesses of each one and thus getting to know each other well.
For the relationship to succeed it is necessary to accept the other as he is. And if you cannot live together with aspects of the other that you do not like, such as differences in values, it is not prudent to continue the relationship.
The utopia of thinking that the other person will change when he marries has been the beginning of the end of many married lives.
- Know how to wait
The total physical delivery to another person creates a very strong affective bond, which can affect the freedom of each one when deciding to share a life project with another person.
You can also run the risk that the relationship is polarized by the physical and hinder the knowledge of the other in its entirety: talents, values, fears, worries, and joys.
It is a myth to believe that future sexual harmony can be tested. Sleeping with the bride or groom is no proof, no guarantee of the future sexual harmony with the spouse, since the harmony depends on a series of circumstances that may not exist during the marriage.
To live good sexual relations that include pleasure, tenderness and reciprocal communication, it is convenient to wait. It is not about rejecting the sexual impulse, but about learning to govern it through love and thus have the possibility of living the total surrender, training in fidelity and enjoyment of physical pleasure, peace and spiritual joy.
- Share moments with friends and family
Knowing and understanding means seeing not only what the other says but how the other lives: how he treats his friends, his family, his co-workers, how he treats me, how he values my own, how he handles the different Situations of the life.
This interpersonal treatment in the daily life allows me to notice if the person I fell in love with is the person I want my children to be like or if I want to share with them my whole life.
When we choose a person, we do it with a story that we have to embrace: his family, what priority he gives him and how is his coexistence with them, how he imagines his own, what he thinks of my friends.
- Develop an intimate and deep communication
One of the attributes of the human being is his intimacy, that is, his inner life. When one partner gives himself totally to the other, they share their intimacy. In order for the other person to know that life or inner world, communication is necessary, the sharing of one’s own: moods, emotions, feelings, judgments, decisions, etc.
In a courtship where there is dialogue and interrelation, the identity of a person can be sufficiently noticed and it will be difficult, very difficult, impossible or possible to share a lifelong project with her. Although the good courtship does not exhaust the knowledge of a person, it allows sufficient knowledge to decide or not a common love project.
Being spouse’s means two people who without merging live as one, that is, as a unit, precisely through communication and reciprocal participation in their inner worlds or intimacies.
The more communication of man and woman there will be a richer “us” on which to build and less communication a poorer “we”.
- Participate in educational courses for boyfriends
Many conflicts have their origin in the ignorance that exists about the multiple masculine and feminine differences that biologically exist in the ways of being, thinking and living. This knowledge has not only enlightened many couples to overcome obstacles and understand each other, but to love each other better.
We can have the opportunity to receive technical and intellectual training in many areas, but affectivity also requires education and seeking help can be key. Couples have to take time to learn about love and its dynamics, communication and complementarity with the person they have chosen.
From the physical point of view the way of experiencing the body, the triggers of the sexual impulse, its rhythms, its reactions and behaviors in the phases of the sexual act are different in men and women, as well as the knowledge about fertility that is fundamental for a couple who plans to start a family tomorrow.
There is also a rich affective world to know where the woman and the man express that they value themselves. If you acquire these tools to know and love yourself before, you can be better prepared for the stage of marriage when things get difficult or there are external pressures to face.
It will help us to get closer to reciprocal happiness by becoming experts of the person we love: knowing what he likes to give him and what he dislikes to avoid it, accepting his vocation and facilitating things for his development by promoting his talents and abilities.